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Support for Caregivers
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The following has been derived from the National AgrAbility Project, Breaking New Ground Resource Center, Purdue University.
When the Storm Strikes, Impact of Disability
There have been no promises that the seasons of our life would be free of cloudy days, droughts or storms. It should, therefore, come as no surprise that everyday hundreds of farm and ranch families, like yours, face the beginning of a new day knowing that a family member has experienced an injury or illness that is unlikely to go away. With little or no opportunity for input from you, you have become a caregiver. You are not alone. More than 49 million Americans have some type of disability. The impact of a disabling injury or illness leads to many changes. Disability can bring about.....
Changes in the pace of life, less personal freedom, a need to reassign responsibilities, increased financial stress and feelings of being burdened and at times overwhelmed.
A Season of Rest-Caring for the Caregiver
You need to recognize negative emotions and signs of burn-out early so you can begin to deal with them. Recognition of the first warning signs may enable you to respond more appropriately and prevent harmful consequences such as depression. The following is a list of danger signals:
No matter what you do, it doesn't seem to be enough
You feel trapped
Communication is negative, tense, or sarcastic
Caring has given way to exhaustion and resentment
Don't wait until you are sick or until you have reached the end of your rope. Seek out help from friends, family or others today and take positive steps toward overcoming the stress. Here are a few ways to deal with negative emotions and prevent yourself from becoming burned out:
Maintain a positive approach.
Keeping a positive attitude will reduce the buildup of negative feelings and the effects of stress. It has been said, "Life is 10 percent what happens to us and 90 percent how to react to it."
Concentrate on the important - forget out the rest.
Decide which factors are not important enough for you to worry about at this time. Then brainstorm on ways you can begin to give more attention to the items causing the most stress and choose to leave the other issues for another day.
Make time for yourself.
The most effective caregivers learn to set aside time to care for themselves physically, emotionally, spiritually, and socially. Ensuring that you have time for activities that refresh you such as spending time with a friend, walking alone in the woods, enjoying music and completing a craft can prove very therapeutic.
After the Storm - Asking for Assistance
As a caregiver, you may need help from others to successfully meet upcoming challenges. Making transfers, loading and unloading wheelchairs, and lifting heavy medical equipment all take time, energy and effort. Yet, you may be reluctant to ask others for help. Some caregivers find help from friends, family, church or other local organizations. A close friendship with just one other person can make a big difference in making it through tough times.
Hanging in There Rain or Shine - Commitment to Marriage
Now that you are faced with new challenges you must commit to keeping your family together. It will not be easy, but it will be worth it in the long run. If you are facing some frustrating moments in your marriage consider these suggestions:
Difficulties do not mean something is wrong with your marriage.
Your mate's needs are opportunities for personal growth, not inadequacies or problems that makes him/her less desirable.
Remember your mate is not your enemy.
Don't focus on your mate's weaknesses but rather on their strengths.
Changing Seasons - Accept Changing Roles
After a disability impacts your home, it often becomes necessary to change roles within your family. As a family, discuss: Which tasks are essential? Can some tasks be eliminated? Can some tasks be postponed? What new tasks can each family member learn? Who is the best person to do these tasks? The entire family needs to rethink who can do each task best, because of this new season in your family's life.
Spring is in the Air - Teamwork and Laughter
Helping your family work together as a team is definitely a key to helping you, as the caregiver, reduce some of the stress you are facing. Ideas that can help your family work more effectively as a team are:
Hold regular family meetings to discuss chores, answer questions, and solve problems.
Ask the children about questions they may have about the farm, the family or the disability.
Plan work according to each person's interest and have family members help one another.
Plan for regular fun time as a family and laugh together.
